International Approximate GOO Span, Yes!: IAGOOS,Y!:

This is a proposed constitution for a new anti-holiday; "anti," because it is not intended at all to be a holy day or holy week. Nothing holy about it. But it will be terrific anyway. It won't be long before it feels very holy, even though it is not. Not at all; unless by "holy" you mean "special, set aside, unusual, even numinous;" though there is nothing numinous about it. Not at all; unless by "numinous" you mean "very cool," and by "very cool" you mean "exceptional," and not "chilly," and by "exceptional" you mean "exceptionally good", not "exceptionally horrible," etc.

WHAT IS IAGOOS,Y!?

IAGOOS,Y! falls vaguely in mid February and lasts for approximately a week. There is no first day of IAGOOS,Y! or last day of IAGOOS,Y!. It is an entirely individual span of celebration. If you miss it, you can celebrate it next month, or you can get in early and celebrate it last month. But it is meant to be celebrated vaguely in mid February. There are no candles to be lit, vows to be made, rituals to perform, innocent vices to avoid, trees to be put up, or traditional animals to be slaughtered and cooked. There are no IAGOOSITES, there's no "Happy IAGOOS,Y!" or "Have a good IAGOOSY!" Their can be no "war on IAGOOS,Y!," no IAGOOS,Y! jihadists, evangelists, scholars, or fanatics; nor does IAGOOS,Y! need defenders. There are no IAGOOS,Y! scrooges, and there is no Father IAGOOS,Y!, no prophet, guru, leader, or holy man, nor "reason for the season," save the inherent, though often dormant, reason in the human heart. Nor is it meant to replace or critique any other holiday, even if it eventually does. We generally like our holidays and days off, and IAGOOS,Y! offers no such benefit. In fact, it might be best if the name of this anti-holiday were left unsaid, especially since there is no agreed-upon pronunciation; however, it must be pronounced if word is to be spread.

OKAY, SO, WHAT THE HELL IS IAGOOS,Y!?

IAGOOS,Y! is the International Approximate GOO (Good of Others) Span, Yes! (the name is stupid, clunky, complicated, and contains an acronym within an acronym to make it difficult to refer to, because it is the humblest of anti-holidays) in which human beings, no matter where in the world they live, what their IQ is, how poorly or well they read or spell, what religion they practice or do not practice, how many worldly possessions they have, the size or existence of their bank account, whether they are regarded by self or others as a good or bad person, whether they are free or incarcerated, put aside all of these differences or misfortunes and choose to become profoundly aware of the existence of others, and manifest this awareness in some positive way. No particular act or series of acts is recommend. This is because it is entirely up to each unique, creative individual to be bold and innovative, humble and commonplace, anonymous or boastful in their acts. Every human being has some kind of gift or ability by which they can extend themselves for the good of others, or simply another. Commercialization of IAGOOS,Y! for the gain of any individual, business, non-profit, or government shall be met with universal indifference, and will result in no benefit whatsoever to the commercializing entity.

The goal is for everyone in the world to become aware, in mid February, that IAGOOS,Y! is "approximately" upon us, and determine to perform a positive act or series of positive acts performed in recognition that the good of others is a critical value we must recognize and promote if we are to continue in any way worth continuing as a species on this planet. As Auden put it in his poem "September 1, 1939," "We must love each other or die." True, he regretted that poem, and particularly that line. And it's certainly true that we shall die whether we love one another or not. But, still, love is a good thing . . . right? Even so, IAGOO,Y! isn't about feelings of love, it is about (non-sexual, unless the sexual act is truly one of love) acts of love.

IAGOOS,Y! BOILED DOWN

• The single purpose if IAGOOS,Y! is expressed in GOO, the acronym within the acronym: "Good of Others." It is an individual celebration that is not even remotely about "me:" not about "my" salvation, not about "me" giving thanks, not about "my" status as a mother, father, laborer, birthday boy or girl, or veteran. 
• IAGOOS,Y! imposes no obligation upon anyone, rather it is a suasion toward universal other-centeredness. Though celebrated in mid February, the spirit of IAGOOS,Y! will eventually captivate the heart of every human being alive, in all (future) times and places, transforming human behavior, though the name will largely forgotten. And that will be a good thing.
• IAGOOS,Y! is celebrated, well or poorly, by every human being on earth in approximately mid February, and lasts approximately a week, with no particular beginning or ending date, though it's celebration may be rescheduled, extended, or truncated by individuals for convenience or at whim. 
• IAGOOS,Y! has no accepted or standardized pronunciation. Anyone pronouncing the name of this anti-holiday should be a little uncertain as to whether they are pronouncing it correctly, because they are not. There is no correct or accepted pronunciation. It is not meant to be said so much as practiced and forgotten.
• Commercialization of this anti-holiday will be met with a universal, collective yawn, though its promotion is encouraged. Any corporation or commercial entity, even a non-profit entity seeking to gain publicity or advantage from IAGOOS,Y! will be met with utter indifference bordering on, but not quite reaching scorn. Anyone producing IAGOOS,Y! cards, celebratory meals, parties, or obligations of any kind shall receive utter indifference in return for their efforts. 
• IAGOOS,Y! is a universal approximate anti-holiday and therefore it is neither the product of nor promotes any particular religion, political persuasion, philosophy, country, tribe, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, or species. 
• When performing an act in recognition of IAGOOS,Y!, it's generally best, though not required, that IAGOOS,Y! is not credited or even mentioned as a motivating or influencing factor. 
• Any act of violence, cruelty, unkindness, unreasonable selfishness, or neglect should, of course, be scorned and assiduously avoided during IAGOOS,Y!. 

Finally, you need not make any plans for your individual celebration of IAGOSS,Y!, though you may. Acts can be planned or spontaneous, as one suddenly realizes that the approximate season of IAGOOS,Y! is upon us. You are not encouraged to spread the word, copy and send or link this constitution to others (nor are you discouraged), though you are encouraged to begin, this February, or simply carry on, celebrating IAGOOS,Y!.