May I be Honest With You?

"May I be honest with you?"
"Aren't you always honest with me?"
"Of course I am. But just now I need to be really honest."
"Really honest?"
"Yes, really honest."
"Oh shit. Is this absolutely necessary?"
"Come on, you make it sound like a bad thing."
"Isn't it?"
"Well, it depends upon how you look at it."
"Can you think of a good way to look at whatever it is?"
"No, not just now . . .  but I'm sure that will come later."
"For you or for me?"
"Oh, for you. I already see it that way."
"Terrific. Good for you. I'm happy for your sake."
"Thanks. That's very generous of you."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, not many people would react that way."
"Oh. Thanks, nice of you to say so . . . but since we're being completely honest, may I go first?"
"What? I've always believed you were honest with me."
"Completely honest?"
"Well, maybe not completely honest . . . but then, who is?"
"We are . . . right now. So may I go first?"
"I don't know . . . I'm the one who started this conversation. I think it should be me."
"Honestly?"
"Well, yes. This is our honest conversation, and I started it."
"But what if I honestly think it would be better if I went first?"
"Better for whom?"
"Honestly? Me. But later on you'll come to see it was the best for you, too."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, I can't be absolutely sure . . . I'm just being honest."
"Well . . . all right then . . . okay. You go first."
"Thank you. Well . . . here's the thing: I have serious cause to doubt that you have been completely honest with me."
"Me? What? Why would you say something like that?"
"Well, at the very least it was  implicit in what you said earlier."
"Oh . . . you know, you're right. I suppose it was."
"Thank you. I appreciate your honesty."
"You're welcome. You know, it's feels good to finally be completely honest with one another."
"I agree. Well, I'm done. I was completely honest with you. It's your turn."
"I had my turn."
"What do you mean?"
"I was completely honest about saying that I have not been completely honest with you."
"Oh, right . . . I suppose you were. And that's what you wanted to be honest about?"
"Yeah, basically."
"Thank God. I thought it might be something else."
"Like what?"
"Like it was you who drained my bank account and then charged those one-way tickets to Argentina on my American Express card."
"What? How could you think something like that?"
"I know, I know . . . this is why I'm so glad we're being completely honest."
"Okay . . . now can we be completely, completely honest?"