Bob and Bette

One afternoon a broken heart who had recently lost his wife approached another broken heart in the dining room at the Meridian, a retirement residence, and introduced himself.  He was essentially putting the moves on her, though she didn't realize it, indifferent to life as she was. She had been paralyzed by depression for the two years since her husband died. She couldn't see or hear very well, was sick nearly all of the time, and had lost interest in everything. His wife had been taken by the West Nile Virus a year before and he was in  similar condition. Meet Bette and Bob.

They began taking meals together and soon became inseparable, even happy again, as time passed. Where they met, the Meridian, is a pricey place with 'high standards.' They wanted only healthy and "with-it" senior residents. At the first sign of dementia, adios grandma, so long gramps. In her grief-stricken condition, Bette had to rally hard just to make the cut. Had she not, she would never have met Bob. But she did, and it wasn't long before Bob and Bette were taking cruises together and traveling to San Francisco, New York, and Mexico. After one trip, bedbugs allegedly hitched a ride home in their luggage. The director of the Meridian came down hard on them, blaming them for the resulting semi-infestation. Besides this, Bob was a troublemaker, the contrarian on the Board of Residents who never failed to speak his mind or challenge the director over various issues that arose. About two years into their residence there, the director, based on her own observations, declared that Bette was experiencing dementia and probably had Alzheimer's disease. She was asked to find other living arrangements. Bob knew full well she was not suffering from dementia, not much anyway, and strongly suspected that he was being punished for being the contrarian on the resident board, and that they were being punished for bedbugs and being increasingly happy together by a resentful director.

Bette was embarrassed, devastated, and angry. There was no appeal. Adios grandma. Bob and her children scrambled to find a suitable place for her to move. Thanks to Bob's shoe leather, a new place was found, and soon Bette moved to Lakewood Estates. They assured her that no one is turned out unless they truly are unable to care for themselves. Bette liked the people but hated the food. The food was lousy. Out of anger, and loyalty to Bette, Bob gave the Meridian a piece of his mind and notice that he was leaving. He bought a small condo not far from Bette. They soon grew weary of the commute between their places, however. Why didn't they just move in together? Because they are smart people. They knew the result of cohabitation would likely be geriatric homicide. Bob is as fastidious, neat, and organized as any human being on earth. Bette is quite the opposite. So Bob went looking and found a retirement residence Littleton, Colorado. The rent was reasonable, the food much better than Lakewood Estates, and besides, you only had to take ten meals a month in the dining room as part of the deal. Bob and Bette dined out for most lunches and dinners anyway.

They rented places there, she on the 10th floor, he on the 7th. And it works perfectly. They spend their days together and their nights apart. Sex is not much of an issue. Though Bette has a friend there who claims that her boyfriend gave her twelve sequential orgasms, Bette just laughs and keeps her private life private. Bette is quite hard of hearing, but otherwise fine. Bob is a stud for 94, and has thrown away all his medicine and sworn off doctors, declaring that, shit, he's 94. Only he'd never say "shit." He knows he's going to die at some point, and there is no point in subjecting himself to doctors and medicines that contribute nothing to his quality of life. Bette and Bob often dine out together, and being the consummate gentleman, Bob always pays. And no one at the new place has suspected or accused Bette of having Alzheimer's, because eight years after being diagnosed by the "director," she simply does not. She did have the pleasure of running into the director and thanking her for forcing them to find a much less expensive place to live, thus enabling enhanced travel and entertainment opportunities. And she wanted to add "You bitch!" but couldn't quite push the words past her lips.